Blog 'Weak' : Dil Se

I interned at Hindustan Times, HT City to be precise,  a couple of months ago. It was one of the most exciting and memorable experiences, working there, among wonderful, happy and the most fun lot I ever saw in an office. And I am pretty sure I can write a full length post talking about how and why it was so amazing and who were the people who made it all the more so, but this post is about something else.

While interning, I was, like every intern there, also responsible for working on the Dil Se Column that comes in HT-City each day. It is a medium for people to share their messages with their friends and loved ones. Pretty simple, right? Wrong! While the concept is pretty simple, there's absolutely nothing simple about the messages that you'd see printed in there.

People of Delhi, as it happens, are a curious lot. They can evoke extreme emotions when it comes to expressing their feelings through messages which the whole world can see. From insane laughter to unbounded irritation to pity to murderous resolves, you'd be surprised at your own reactions when you read them. 

Let's try and figure out what they mean by looking at this list of 10 unique messages that I selected. These are exactly as they appeared, with absolutely no editing whatsoever(except for some numbers and dates maybe). Okay, let's start,

Cute eh? 

1- Dis is 4 dose 2 guys wu were standing after d ladies coach in metro on day after yesterday, i wanna tell dem i like u specialy d smart one....CnC

So CnC, am I reading it right when I read 'day after yesterday' or is there a hidden meaning in this, because the last time I checked, there was another word already defined for that phrase. It was something called 'Today'. And, I suppose dem stands for them when pronounced in the accent which Naomie Harris sported in Pirates of the Carribean movies, right?

So umm, let me get this straight. You want to tell both of them, that you like them, but also that you specially like the smart one more? Meaning you want to say this in front of the non-smart one, right? Hmm... splendid!!

2- Hiii this msg is 4 accent car.the g.i.p mall.i m the honda city guy.ur so sweet.i m waiting 4 ur rply.

Hi honda city guy, quick question. Who are you expecting a reply from? The accent car or the g.i.p mall? And no offence, seriously I am absolutely cool with it, you know. I mean I am pretty progressive and I totally understand people falling for cars and malls these days. Just the other day, I read about a man in Japan who married his pillow, in a church. It's possible, totally.

You might want to book a garage maybe, for honeymoon, if everything works out well. You know, how the parking problem is in this city after all.

3- the stenographer of C. R no. XXX of DWK Court. Madam mine want 2 meet U as mine like U very much. Mine the Sikh advocate sitting in court room on 8/X/13. If u remember mine and like mine than reply through Dilse. Urs kstunos.

WOW, you've got a good number of 'mines' in there dude. I seriously hope the stenographer did not burst after reading this message. With happiness of-course.

I don't have much to say here, Mr. kstunos. I just want to read this message again and again. It is...deep, like a mine.

4- hi 

i m 20 years old vers.

looking a top boyfrd

same age nd caring,,,,,,

i m frm east del

any one intrested,.,,

plz reply throw dil se

Lady, don't really want to break your heart here, but ... how are you going to get a 'top' boyfriend at this stage of life. I mean, you are a 20 year old 'version' and 'top' boyfriends are really in demand these days. It's not a competition, it's literally war out there.

Also, it really kills me to tell you that I just yesterday had a look at the 'top' boyfriends list in the newspaper and there wasn't a single person same age as yours, to 'throw' you a reply. (Sighs) Sorry.

5- Hi, baby.. :*

you know main tujhe kinna misshh kalta huin.. I love you like hell.. I know tu bhi mujhshe pyaal kalta hai.. But baby mujhe bohot rona aata hai, bohot bura lagta hai jab tu mujhse baat nahi kalta.. :( i misshh the days i spent with you.. The nights i spent talking to you.. I misshh you, yourhuggiee, ur kisshiiee, your smoocchiiee.. You always say nahh babu m there for you always.. But baby jab i need you tab kahaan hote hoo..??

Main awaaz deta huin baby kahaan hai.. And mujhe koi yehh bolne wala nahi hota babu yeh raha main.. Tele paashh.. ;(;(

Please pehle ki tarah ban jaao.. ;(

i lub yewwhh.. :*

Mmmuuuaaaahhh... :*

:A 30 sec silence: Okay, miss umm ... babu yes err ... :another 30 sec silence, takes deep breaths:

Miss babu, have you ever seen that bournville ad, the new one? If not, you'd know what I wish for you, if you'd just visit here. No wonder you love people like you love hell.

Oh and one more thing, in the second line of your message here, it should be 'mujhe bohot *lona aata hai' and 'mujhe bohot *bula lagta hai'. You're welcome.

6- Hi..um 23

Delhi guy...saw ur msg on may13edition..wanna f'ship wid yu

I m caring subject to hw much yu mean to me

Reply here

007

Hello 007, I didn't know you were a Delhi guy, I always thought you were British, what with the fair skin and the accent. Good God!! And what is this that I see. F'ship? Come on man, this is family newspaper, you can't be so direct. I mean yeah, you've been lonely lately, I understand, what with all that happened with M and all, but still. Hold your horses dude. You know in here, you first have to do GF'ship and then only you go to F'ship.Oh and bro, that condition ... took my heart away. :Stands and claps:

  

7- DeAr KeVIn(curLy h@iR),

I @m cr@zieEe abT yeW t0talLY. YeW RoCk baBieEe. PLz D@te me? I l0vE yeW lyK a l0Ve s0ng baBieEe. mwWaaaAhHhhhh. :*

C0ntaCt mE: crazyXXX-XXXin@gmail.com

-a GaL 4m yEwr s0cIetY.(GueSs wh0? ;) )

Err... whaaa??

8- i am in love with a girl who calls me brother but the worst part is she has a boy friend.but i feel she likes me. whenever i see her or think about her, i completly forget myself. The more i think the more i fall in love. I hope she reads this confession and know how much i like her and want to love her.

Red devil

Whoahohooo!! Dude, ye kya hai?? Okay, I'm going to give you the benefit of doubt and assume that you recently got Bhaizoned, but seriously man, sincere advice, find another girl.

9- Shantanu gaur I love you please propose so I can be with you

Aayushi 10 c

Girls!! :Big Sigh:

Wait, are you in class 10 Aayushi? o.O

10- to prince

teri girlfriend kisi aur ke sath bhaag gayi.

your friend rahul

RESPECT.

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P.S: Do leave a comment if you've read 'dil se' before and let me know what you feel about the messages in there. Do leave a comment even if you haven't, you might have a fairly good idea what you'd feel about it by now ;)   

Note: All the messages are published messages and hence does not voilate anyone's privacy. The were taken from the papers a long time ago.