Perfection, The Pursuit of

Sometimes, I get totally annoyed with myself and feel completely enraged with the things that happen to me I do to myself. Procrastination and not being able to complete things(goals which I set for myself) on time, turn out to be the main reasons for this rage most of the times. And it's not that I freak out at the drop of a hat each and every time, but I do feel angry and even helpless sometimes when certain tasks or things I intend to do keep on getting delayed.

The recent reason, and big enough to actually write about it here, is one article, actually not just one article but a whole series of articles that I intend to write as a sort of something special on this blog for a long time. And I have an idea to do something like this since forever. I know the theme, I've decided on the subjects I am going to write on, I've even thought about format a little, it's just the content which is keeping me from writing it down and posting.

I found this image after writing the post. 

The core problem which stands, and have always stood in my way with stuff I love or take seriously, is that I strive a little too much for perfection. I always want my work to be perfect, how it actually turns out is a different matter altogether. I specially like what I write to be nothing short of perfect, to be just rightly balanced, to be complete. And I am not trying to boast about my awesome qualities here. It's actually a very big problem, a curse even.

Because really, all that I get as a result  in the end is a slack, naive and brazenly a-little-short-of-stupid piece when compared to how good I actually want to be. And all this after hours of thinking, researching(in case of some serious topics, which I am supposed to do with this series as well) and writing and re-writing bits and parts of it.

And no matter how much I think or try to get out of this idealist mold, I don't. I know it does me more bad than good in the long run, but my ideas always stand in the way. Sometimes, I think that it is rather good that I ultimately post something which I actually like, even if it means two posts a month, or one. But then, it doesn't make up for the amount of stories I would like to write or poems or other posts which I sometimes postpone so much because of this problem that they lose their significance and I end up dropping them altogether.

Take for instance this series, I have been wanting to start it since July. First, I thought I'd start on 1st July, then I postponed it to 15th July, then 1st Aug and so on till now. I was supposed to write it today and since I couldn't get myself to do that and since I desperately wanted to write something, I started writing this. Maybe I often let loose, because I set the deadlines and I check on them. Maybe I should do it the other way and maybe this time I shall do a formal declaration right here. Okay then, here it goes,

"I, Usama Sulaiman, promise to whosoever is still reading this crappy boring post that I'll start this new series named ...err 'A Cynic's Take' (since I am completely cynical), where I'll post on topics/stuff which relates to all of us in ways, big or small, on 15th of this month. And I shall pick up at least one new topic each month"

Writing this does make the blurred vision of this future post a little more clear. But one question still remains. Is this pursuit of perfection sensible enough to let go of the posts that I miss along the way? Or to put it in other words, Should I invest in more time to post lesser in number, but sensible posts, or should I post whatever, whenever and in however condition it turns out later.

P.S: If both of my options look wrong, please suggest a workaround to this problem. I really need help.